This is a poem thingy that I wrote back in January..strangely enough, while I was working 2 jobs. Anyway...I just came across it tonight and it really ministered to me. Let it do the same for you!
God says:
I just want you to settle down so that I can give you what you need
I want you to lay aside your weights and put it all on Me
I am your Supply, providing your every need
You have to settle down so that I can give you what you need.
My response:
Provider, Provider, You meet my every need
Provider, Supplier, to You alone I cling
Provider, Supplier, my very Source indeed
Provider, Provider, You are all I need.
Freely You've given and freely You meet
My every circumstance with the provision that I need
How could I look elsewhere or look inside of me
When You're the Source of everything good and You have more than all I need!
If I can trust You to forgive me
If I can believe You for grace
Then I can know that what Your Word promises me
Is mine in so many ways
So I trust You to give it to me
I know it's already done
I believe Jesus paid a price for me
And provides all my needs according to His riches and glory!
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Thursday, October 1, 2009
Everybody Needs Lovin'!
Love is the key to everything. I know a word and it's the most powerful word ever spoken, written or said. It's a word that's even more powerful than "faith". A word that's more powerful than healing. A single word that can turn someone's life completely upside down and even turn the world on it's axis. A word stronger than any man, any force and any belief or idea. 4 simple letters yet one complex meaning. It's a word that can do more good in someone's life than prayer. This marvelous, great word that I speak of is the word “L-O-V-E...LOVE!” Love can change anything. Love is what can make you a success or a failure in dealing with people. Love is the key that will open the hearts of the most hardened lost sheep. And love always, always, always, ALWAYS wins! People need to know that they are loved. People need to understand what the true church is. Too often have we pointed our fingers and told people how wrong they are and yet not done it based on love. And this, my friends, should not be so! I feel that maybe we’ve made the mistakes as believers, newly re-born and experienced alike, of addressing others with EMOTION rather than compassion. We hear a wonderful sermon that encourages us and pumps us up and we’re ready to just reach out to every single person we see out there! Over time, however, that just stops happening. Why is this? Let me suggest to you that we have fallen in love rather than grounding ourselves in it.
There is such a drastic difference between falling in love and growing in love. One is unstable and flighty, based solely on emotions or shallow inhibitions. The other is grounded, rooted and creates an indestructible foundation. This applies to romantic relationships as well as the relationship with our Father and, in the context of this writing, our relationship with the world. You see, Jesus never FELL in love with us. If He had done so, His sacrifice on the cross would have been a bust. He WOULD have, in fact, called down legions of angels to His rescue. No, you see, Jesus GREW in love with us. I have no doubt about that. No, there isn’t a scripture that says “And Jesus developed a love for the world over time.” Nor is there one that says “God so loved the world after an enduring process of creating and getting to know everyone.”
No, you see, we can see the results of the fact that God grew in love with us simply b/c He has never left us, forsaken us or done ANYTHING to punish us when we so justly deserved it! He fully embodies love. He IS love. And love does NOT bring calamity, sickness, poverty or hurt in order to punish, correct or even teach someone. Period.
Jesus was always showing the will of His Father by His actions. Every time He encountered sickness, He ministered. He payed attention to financial issues and ministered about those things as well. He was all about love, love, love! Love was His mission and the very foundation of EVERYTHING that He ever did on this earth as a man. And now that mission has been served to us, His followers. We are to be all about love, love, love. No, we aren’t to love this world’s ways or the moral decay that only grows day by day. No, we aren’t to support contrary lifestyles and belief systems that are enmities of the Word of God. But we are to reach out to this world, selflessly, giving all that we can give to make a difference. How do we do this? Love.
Love is the answer to just about every single difficult situation you face. When it comes to dealing with religious individuals that neither think they have an issue nor want to listen to anything you say b/c they have it all together, love is the key to breaking through. When it comes to dealing with that abusive spouse, relative or other person in your life, love is the ingredient that will drop them to their knees. When it comes to dealing with the most hardened heart, love is always the way in. You can’t look at the circumstances, however. I’ve been that guy that was so hard and non-receptive of anything even REMOTELY Christ-like. Love broke me down hard. God had placed individuals in my path that simply ministered to me with love. They showed they cared. They would tell me they cared. One brother, in particular, embraced me with a gentle hug whenever I lost my best friend and just told me, “I love you and I’m praying for you.” Wow! What a difference that made in me! I hated that guy...I think he knew it...but yet still. And then another dear brother reached out to me in homeroom one day, in love, and just ministered words of love to me about my situation at that time. I left school that day, went to my room, hit my knees and just BROKE before God. I knew these guys were Christians because I saw the difference in their conduct in mine. So their words drilled through my hardened heart every time they spoke to me because they always spoke to me from the position of love. Love always, always, always, ALWAYS works!
So where do we get this? HOW can we grow in love rather than wrapping ourselves up in “the moment” of this letter and going by emotional response? Let me suggest that we get that love from spending time touching our Father’s heart. When we spend time with our God in loving fellowship and spend time in His Word as if it’s the only “meal” at the dinner table that we will have that day, we break before Him. And when we break before our God, He fills in every single crevice with Himself. The deeper in love with God our Father that you are, the more love you are going to exude as you walk amongst the people that don’t yet know Him. And let’s not forget the power of the precious Holy Spirit that dwells in us either! Praying in the Spirit (praying in other tongues) releases the full plan of God in your life. When you pray in an unknown tongue, your spirit, your inner man, the REAL you, communicates DIRECTLY with God, though your understanding is unfruitful. When you pray in the Spirit, you pray out the perfect plan and will of God in your life. And also, when you pray in the Spirit, you edify yourself. You build yourself up, getting everything that you NEED in that moment. And FYI...you don’t even have to wait for some “feeling” to come upon you before you begin to pray in other tongues. The Holy Ghost is a gift that lives inside us and if you’ve received the baptism of that precious, Holy Spirit, you can put that gift to use anytime...and it’s STILL as the Spirit gives utterance! Praise God for the Holy Ghost!
So spend time with our Father. Love on Him, sing to Him, speak to Him like you would your dearest sweetheart. Spend time in His Word...crave it like you do your favorite meal...and as you read it, enjoy it as you would that favorite dish. Pray in the Spirit and know that everything you need is being represented in that precious time. And watch the difference in your life and the impact that your life will make from this day forward in the world around you.
I love you guys! If you have questions or comments, I welcome them!
There is such a drastic difference between falling in love and growing in love. One is unstable and flighty, based solely on emotions or shallow inhibitions. The other is grounded, rooted and creates an indestructible foundation. This applies to romantic relationships as well as the relationship with our Father and, in the context of this writing, our relationship with the world. You see, Jesus never FELL in love with us. If He had done so, His sacrifice on the cross would have been a bust. He WOULD have, in fact, called down legions of angels to His rescue. No, you see, Jesus GREW in love with us. I have no doubt about that. No, there isn’t a scripture that says “And Jesus developed a love for the world over time.” Nor is there one that says “God so loved the world after an enduring process of creating and getting to know everyone.”
No, you see, we can see the results of the fact that God grew in love with us simply b/c He has never left us, forsaken us or done ANYTHING to punish us when we so justly deserved it! He fully embodies love. He IS love. And love does NOT bring calamity, sickness, poverty or hurt in order to punish, correct or even teach someone. Period.
Jesus was always showing the will of His Father by His actions. Every time He encountered sickness, He ministered. He payed attention to financial issues and ministered about those things as well. He was all about love, love, love! Love was His mission and the very foundation of EVERYTHING that He ever did on this earth as a man. And now that mission has been served to us, His followers. We are to be all about love, love, love. No, we aren’t to love this world’s ways or the moral decay that only grows day by day. No, we aren’t to support contrary lifestyles and belief systems that are enmities of the Word of God. But we are to reach out to this world, selflessly, giving all that we can give to make a difference. How do we do this? Love.
Love is the answer to just about every single difficult situation you face. When it comes to dealing with religious individuals that neither think they have an issue nor want to listen to anything you say b/c they have it all together, love is the key to breaking through. When it comes to dealing with that abusive spouse, relative or other person in your life, love is the ingredient that will drop them to their knees. When it comes to dealing with the most hardened heart, love is always the way in. You can’t look at the circumstances, however. I’ve been that guy that was so hard and non-receptive of anything even REMOTELY Christ-like. Love broke me down hard. God had placed individuals in my path that simply ministered to me with love. They showed they cared. They would tell me they cared. One brother, in particular, embraced me with a gentle hug whenever I lost my best friend and just told me, “I love you and I’m praying for you.” Wow! What a difference that made in me! I hated that guy...I think he knew it...but yet still. And then another dear brother reached out to me in homeroom one day, in love, and just ministered words of love to me about my situation at that time. I left school that day, went to my room, hit my knees and just BROKE before God. I knew these guys were Christians because I saw the difference in their conduct in mine. So their words drilled through my hardened heart every time they spoke to me because they always spoke to me from the position of love. Love always, always, always, ALWAYS works!
So where do we get this? HOW can we grow in love rather than wrapping ourselves up in “the moment” of this letter and going by emotional response? Let me suggest that we get that love from spending time touching our Father’s heart. When we spend time with our God in loving fellowship and spend time in His Word as if it’s the only “meal” at the dinner table that we will have that day, we break before Him. And when we break before our God, He fills in every single crevice with Himself. The deeper in love with God our Father that you are, the more love you are going to exude as you walk amongst the people that don’t yet know Him. And let’s not forget the power of the precious Holy Spirit that dwells in us either! Praying in the Spirit (praying in other tongues) releases the full plan of God in your life. When you pray in an unknown tongue, your spirit, your inner man, the REAL you, communicates DIRECTLY with God, though your understanding is unfruitful. When you pray in the Spirit, you pray out the perfect plan and will of God in your life. And also, when you pray in the Spirit, you edify yourself. You build yourself up, getting everything that you NEED in that moment. And FYI...you don’t even have to wait for some “feeling” to come upon you before you begin to pray in other tongues. The Holy Ghost is a gift that lives inside us and if you’ve received the baptism of that precious, Holy Spirit, you can put that gift to use anytime...and it’s STILL as the Spirit gives utterance! Praise God for the Holy Ghost!
So spend time with our Father. Love on Him, sing to Him, speak to Him like you would your dearest sweetheart. Spend time in His Word...crave it like you do your favorite meal...and as you read it, enjoy it as you would that favorite dish. Pray in the Spirit and know that everything you need is being represented in that precious time. And watch the difference in your life and the impact that your life will make from this day forward in the world around you.
I love you guys! If you have questions or comments, I welcome them!
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Boundaries
Before you get all up in this blog and come to the realization of "hey, there's lots of books out on this subject", slow your roll a bit, focus your heart and pay attention to what I have to say on this subject. I'm gonna be talking about boundaries in dating...but likely in a way other than what you may have read or even heard before. So before you write me off or decide to get bored with this subject, at LEAST give me a shot! If you're reading this, you've likely read my other stuff too so you should be aware that this likely (and hopefully) won't be a boring read no matter what!
Maybe you read my last blog and came to the conclusion that I'm against dating. Or perhaps you think, at the very least, that my previous blog was instructing you NOT to date. Contrary to all that, I AM in favor of dating! (Holy cow, some of my old-school friends probably just fell outta their chair!) I once believed that dating was wrong and blah, blah, blah. In fact, the first "sermon" I ever did was actually a series in Sunday School at East Ridge Church of God teaching the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". In defense of that book, however, let me just tell you that the moral of what Joshua Harris was saying, I STILL agree with! I'm simply gonna add to it and expound upon it all a little bit more.
Unlike my last blog and the other blog that I'm working on at the moment, this blog isn't meant to be intense. "Boundaries" is more light-hearted and practical-heavy, just so you know. And I speak on this subject as someone with a lot of wisdom both from God and from just living it out. So don't expect me to slap you in the face if you believe differently, disagree or think everything that I'm sharing is garbage...cuz I've LIVED this. (And in living it, I've proved it!)
Let's first look at what I mean by dating. From this point on, when I mention hanging out or dating or any SIMILAR terms, I do NOT mean them in the same manner as the world does. Joshua Harris called it courtship or courting in "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" (and if you read that book with no negative agenda, you'd see that we're singing the same song, just different harmonies). I'm talking about FRIENDSHIP! How can you even DETERMINE that you want to be in a relationship with someone until you've spent adequate time getting to know them?? All I'm talking about here is spending that adequate time. That can have many different faces, ya know:
--It could be...meeting for some coffee and just talking and stuff.
--It could be...hanging out in groups a.k.a. group dating.
Hey ladies! (This is the part where you ladies respond by saying hi back!) Fellas, keep reading, you should learn something here too. Ladies, ladies, ladies...I'll just cut straight to the point. I'm not a big fan of fluff or beating around bushes or playing games anyway, so let me just be up-front with you. Before you go on a date with a guy, YOU NEED TO USE YOUR HEAD!!! I think it's PERFECTLY okay for you to carefully examine each and every person you go on a date with. I've narrowed it down to only a few things for you to really consider about a guy, and remember, I used to be one of these guys that didn't meet hardly ANY of the proceeding criteria.
1. You should examine WHY this guy wants to hang out with you. If he is only wanting to hang with you because you're hot or because it's a date...NEXT! Yeah, that's harsh but hear me out here...if a guy isn't FIRST interested in getting to know you for who you are, your interests and your likes (or another way to say it, he isn't interested in being a friend and brother in Christ to you FIRST), then you have no place hanging with him and he likely ISN'T a part of God's plan for you! Yeah...that's rough...sorry, fellas, but it's also the truth. God is NOT interested in sending you a Bozo in place of a Boaz, just sayin'. God also wants to send to you His best...and God's best for you is someone that only has a heart for Him...and looks to please Him first! That being said...
2. You should only consider a date with a guy that pursues you. Don't go chasin' boys, girls! It is MAN'S responsibility to be the pursuer...I know that's a little old fashioned but there is reasoning behind it. If a man isn't man enough to show an interest in you, he isn't really even a man yet, he's still a BOY! And what do boys do? They play, they're selfish and they can't provide anything for themselves (let alone YOU!). Ladies, be cautious of a guy that plays the "tough guy". I know that society depicts the "mean guy" or the "tough guy" as being the ideal man...but God's man is the nice guy...and that's a fact! That being said, it's okay for YOU to show an interest in the guy too. Most nice guys have a habit of being a little TOO nice and therefore having a hard time finding a balance between over-pursuit and no pursuit at all due to girls playing hard to get. Depending upon your maturity level and his maturity level, there's no real NEED to be playing games. If you're interested in getting to know a guy, it's okay to make that known somehow! On the other side of the coin, though, as I mentioned before, leave all the pursuit to him. I'm just saying it's okay to bait him a bit by revealing a little interest.
3. Evangelistic dating is of the devil! What does that even MEAN?? Well, if he isn't a believer (and I'll even take it a step farther that if he isn't of the same spiritual belief system such as...you're Pentecostal, he's Presbyterian) don't go out with him! Period! The latter only leaves room for difficulty and confusion and, even though we're talking about being friends and getting to know one another, you have to be balanced and responsible. You want a mate, whenever that time comes, who believes like you believe. If you believe in Divine healing then you will want a mate that will stand with you and pray with you (or for you) and believe God with you! Why look at it any differently in the area of dating? So it goes without saying, then, that you, being a believer should NOT date an unbeliever. Paul even addressed this issue himself in the Word of God. Yes, God can use you to reach out to Hotty McHotterton but He will NOT use you to reach him by dating him! Maybe you're unaware of this but...boys be crazy! Unsaved fellas aren't into you because of how beautiful you are inside or because of how anointed you are or because of your heart for God...they're into you because you smell good, you look good and you'd make a nice, shiny new toy! Yeah...that's tough but MAN is it EVER the truth! I'm being real here, don't shout me down cuz I'm preaching good.
4. Don't over-think it and don't under-think it, either. I've addressed under-thinking it in the first 3 points but over-thinking it, I'll touch on here. Let's just be more real, okay? If you find a guy attractive, he's a man of God or you know he has a heart for God...why pray about getting to know him? Getting to know someone doesn't mean that you guys will end up in a relationship. How do you even KNOW you want to be in a relationship until you get to know them anyway??? Every matter isn't a spiritual matter, I'm sorry if that shatters your world. Dating, however, seems to be equal parts of both and yet we (fellow ministers) have neglected to focus on the natural aspect of it all to great disaster, I believe. We've told people for years, "No need to date, God will bring that person into your life! Stay inside and pray 8 hours a day! If God wants you to have a mate, you'll find them sitting on your doorstep!" And, dear friends, that just. isn't. true. If he makes you laugh...if he makes you feel good about yourself and respects and honors you and if he loves him some Jesus...why not go do something with him? Will it HURT you to have more fun and laugh more and receive more compliments and (likely) get something free out of it (such as coffee, food, flowers)??? No, I think not!
Guys! Buddies! Pals! Bro...sephs...ok. Yeah. You dudes. I'm talking to you now, ladies, your turn to pay attention for some learning. I want to say this first. Be. A. Man. Don't be a man by the worlds standards either. Get your nose in the Word of God, keep your mind renewed, fall in love with God and submit yourself fresh and anew to Him and then maybe, just MAYBE you'll be ready to hang out with a woman of God. It's all about priorities, fellas, and let's face it...we usually have a hard time prioritizing anything that doesn't directly benefit us immediately. Lucky for you guys that everything I've covered so far does just that though! You need to be aware of some things too, however...
1. You are to be the pursuer of the woman. And you are to be the pursuer with honor and class! I'm not saying you have to be smooth...I'm anything BUT smooth and, in fact, find myself being a little awkward in my pursuit of a woman. I'm saying that you need to HONOR her as your sister in Christ as you pursue her though! Don't just be like, "Hey, you're hot! Praise God for hot chicks! When you were worshiping God, I just couldn't help but notice the glimmer of those gorgeous lips under the ambiance of the church lighting!" Yeah...that's neither giving honor to her as a sister and woman of God and it's not very classy either! Don't get me wrong, there's a time for saying that stuff...but not at this stage! Slow your roll, jack!
2. Why do you want to go out with her? What's your reasoning behind it? Are you TRULY interested in GETTING TO KNOW HER or are you more interested in being in a relationship with her? If being in a relationship with her is your MAIN interest and priority, you're still a boy and need to wait for manhood before you attempt dating again. I'm not beating on you, guys, I just say it this way because I've been the guy I told the ladies to watch out for. Women want to be secure and if you REALLY want to make her happy, make her your FRIEND first so that you guys can learn each other and come to trust each other! Security is only found in trust and trust can ONLY be founded on friendship and friendship should be something that is earned, not granted freely. Now, if she opens the door to just letting you be her friend...take it and consider yourself blessed to be in that position. It's your job, at that point, to prove to her that she didn't make a mistake. Also...women aren't objects. I don't care HOW gorgeous she is, she is NOT a trophy. Guys, we ALL want to end up with a woman that we'd be proud to walk arm in arm with from the physical standpoint...but you just better have more extensive criteria than just physical qualities. As for me...I'm looking for the total package. Someone that makes me say "WOW!" Physically, spiritually, intellectually, personality-ly (?), and even emotionally. And, if she makes me say wow on those levels, she'll be making me say "WOW!" literally and VERY audibly as well! Ok...enough "ly's".
3. Evangelistic dating is of the devil for you TOO! I don't care WHAT kinda man of God you are! Don't. be. foolish! Men...we are visually stimulated. You REALLY think hanging out with Hoochie McMamaton is gonna result in anything positive, spiritually speaking? Gimme a break! Yes, God could use you to reach her...but God is NOT going to put you in a place that will allow for you to flesh out and do something that you regret, either physically or in your heart. Period.
4. You're a man...set a standard! I think it's OKAY to let a woman know what's up! I think it's not only safe and smart but also...IDEAL. No, I've not always done it and YES, I have paid the price for not doing so. Setting standards keeps both of your hearts in check. If she's really into you, even if you DO set a standard of "let's just be friends and see where things go naturally without trying to make them happen" and you aren't feeling the same way at all...be a man and GENTLY let her know what's up. Become a communicator NOW! We're gonna have to do it A LOT once we get married anyway! Anyway, don't pretend that you can't get heartbroken. It can and does happen, even in THESE situations! And I firmly believe that it's because no one set up some standards. I've been totally open and honest before...I've told a girl straight-up "yep, i'm interested in you and I kinda like you...but I REALLY wanna focus on getting to KNOW you more than anything else." I believe that makes things easier for both people and kinda let's HER off the hook should she decide that she isn't really feeling anymore than friendship with ya. And I really think that if you become friends first and foremost, you're not gonna be all heartbroken and stuff over that because you will be satisfied with that stage of a relationship.
I'm certainly no professional on the matter, nor have I done any extensive or conclusive research on the matter. In fact, I didn't even draw scripture and verse from the Bible...I just wrote this out to you from my heart. Once you're content with God as your Source of EVERYTHING (even the relationship stuff) you can effectively establish boundaries for getting to know people of like, precious faith! Being single is a gift from God and it's supposed to be a FUN time in your life, not a burden! For some of us, it's only a season too (praise God!) But who says we can't enjoy this season AND prepare ourselves for that time in life where we will get to have a relationship? I'll even go this far...if we will become so wrapped up in God that nothing else really matters, we won't have to go around dating various people. We may come to find that person, a dear friend, perhaps, already a part of our lives. We may discover, quite unexpectedly, that the one person we WANT to invest all of our time into...we've already began doing so with. Let us not forget, however, that the Great Author of Romance Himself doesn't cease to be just that whenever we do find another person. God is the only Source of satisfaction and being in love with Him is the only way to first love your sweetheart. His love is perfect and was strong enough, marvelous enough and so determined that it was the VERY thing that raised Christ from the dead. For if Christ had only died for our sins, that may have been enough...but God wanted His children to have FULLNESS in this life...so that deep-rooted love reached into the earth and raised to us a victorious Savior and Ever-lasting Lover!
Amen.
Maybe you read my last blog and came to the conclusion that I'm against dating. Or perhaps you think, at the very least, that my previous blog was instructing you NOT to date. Contrary to all that, I AM in favor of dating! (Holy cow, some of my old-school friends probably just fell outta their chair!) I once believed that dating was wrong and blah, blah, blah. In fact, the first "sermon" I ever did was actually a series in Sunday School at East Ridge Church of God teaching the book "I Kissed Dating Goodbye". In defense of that book, however, let me just tell you that the moral of what Joshua Harris was saying, I STILL agree with! I'm simply gonna add to it and expound upon it all a little bit more.
Unlike my last blog and the other blog that I'm working on at the moment, this blog isn't meant to be intense. "Boundaries" is more light-hearted and practical-heavy, just so you know. And I speak on this subject as someone with a lot of wisdom both from God and from just living it out. So don't expect me to slap you in the face if you believe differently, disagree or think everything that I'm sharing is garbage...cuz I've LIVED this. (And in living it, I've proved it!)
Let's first look at what I mean by dating. From this point on, when I mention hanging out or dating or any SIMILAR terms, I do NOT mean them in the same manner as the world does. Joshua Harris called it courtship or courting in "I Kissed Dating Goodbye" (and if you read that book with no negative agenda, you'd see that we're singing the same song, just different harmonies). I'm talking about FRIENDSHIP! How can you even DETERMINE that you want to be in a relationship with someone until you've spent adequate time getting to know them?? All I'm talking about here is spending that adequate time. That can have many different faces, ya know:
--It could be...meeting for some coffee and just talking and stuff.
--It could be...hanging out in groups a.k.a. group dating.
(And let me just tell you this now, my opinion on that is pretty strong. Yes, it is safe. No, it does NOT work for me! If there happens to be someone else in that group that happens to like to garner all the attention and you are not the same kinda person...well...your date is more likely to hone in on him or her instead. And THAT just makes things awkward, frustrating and COMPLETELY counter-productive. My suggestion: let's go hang out some place publicly where we can both be ourselves and have fun but ALSO be able to focus in on one another. Hey, that's just how I work, not saying EVERYONE has to do it MY way...I just know I'm not the only person out there like this so I addressed it for those of like, precious dating habits.)
--It could be just talking on the phone or online and all that. Now, on that note, (and I mentioned this in "Content" but it's SO worth mentioning again) don't get all desperate and turn to internet dating sites! No NEED to bow to pressure! You are complete and whole in Him and you have been granted an AWESOME season of your life to just get ready for that person He has for you! When I mention talking on line, I'm talking about someone you have already met or someone that you already know and you guys just happen to chat it up online rather than in person.
--It could really be ANYTHING that keeps things casual, appropriate and in context of 2 people just getting to know one another. There really shouldn't even be any pretenses of a relationship, to be honest. If your goal is REALLY to get to know them and REALLY to be their friend, then you're going to be TRULY satisfied with it working out either way that it does. I know that's tough..but, believe me, I'm gonna say some tougher things as we go along. I know that if you're wanting to hang with someone, you're likely doing so because you are REALLLLLLY attracted to them. At least that's the case with me...and that's OKAY! It would be naive to think that a mutual interest is wrong. It would also be naive to think, ladies, that he's only wanting to get to know you as a friend simply because he just wants another friend. Let's just be real here, okay? Let's also learn a balance though! Moving along...
--It could be just talking on the phone or online and all that. Now, on that note, (and I mentioned this in "Content" but it's SO worth mentioning again) don't get all desperate and turn to internet dating sites! No NEED to bow to pressure! You are complete and whole in Him and you have been granted an AWESOME season of your life to just get ready for that person He has for you! When I mention talking on line, I'm talking about someone you have already met or someone that you already know and you guys just happen to chat it up online rather than in person.
--It could really be ANYTHING that keeps things casual, appropriate and in context of 2 people just getting to know one another. There really shouldn't even be any pretenses of a relationship, to be honest. If your goal is REALLY to get to know them and REALLY to be their friend, then you're going to be TRULY satisfied with it working out either way that it does. I know that's tough..but, believe me, I'm gonna say some tougher things as we go along. I know that if you're wanting to hang with someone, you're likely doing so because you are REALLLLLLY attracted to them. At least that's the case with me...and that's OKAY! It would be naive to think that a mutual interest is wrong. It would also be naive to think, ladies, that he's only wanting to get to know you as a friend simply because he just wants another friend. Let's just be real here, okay? Let's also learn a balance though! Moving along...
Hey ladies! (This is the part where you ladies respond by saying hi back!) Fellas, keep reading, you should learn something here too. Ladies, ladies, ladies...I'll just cut straight to the point. I'm not a big fan of fluff or beating around bushes or playing games anyway, so let me just be up-front with you. Before you go on a date with a guy, YOU NEED TO USE YOUR HEAD!!! I think it's PERFECTLY okay for you to carefully examine each and every person you go on a date with. I've narrowed it down to only a few things for you to really consider about a guy, and remember, I used to be one of these guys that didn't meet hardly ANY of the proceeding criteria.
1. You should examine WHY this guy wants to hang out with you. If he is only wanting to hang with you because you're hot or because it's a date...NEXT! Yeah, that's harsh but hear me out here...if a guy isn't FIRST interested in getting to know you for who you are, your interests and your likes (or another way to say it, he isn't interested in being a friend and brother in Christ to you FIRST), then you have no place hanging with him and he likely ISN'T a part of God's plan for you! Yeah...that's rough...sorry, fellas, but it's also the truth. God is NOT interested in sending you a Bozo in place of a Boaz, just sayin'. God also wants to send to you His best...and God's best for you is someone that only has a heart for Him...and looks to please Him first! That being said...
2. You should only consider a date with a guy that pursues you. Don't go chasin' boys, girls! It is MAN'S responsibility to be the pursuer...I know that's a little old fashioned but there is reasoning behind it. If a man isn't man enough to show an interest in you, he isn't really even a man yet, he's still a BOY! And what do boys do? They play, they're selfish and they can't provide anything for themselves (let alone YOU!). Ladies, be cautious of a guy that plays the "tough guy". I know that society depicts the "mean guy" or the "tough guy" as being the ideal man...but God's man is the nice guy...and that's a fact! That being said, it's okay for YOU to show an interest in the guy too. Most nice guys have a habit of being a little TOO nice and therefore having a hard time finding a balance between over-pursuit and no pursuit at all due to girls playing hard to get. Depending upon your maturity level and his maturity level, there's no real NEED to be playing games. If you're interested in getting to know a guy, it's okay to make that known somehow! On the other side of the coin, though, as I mentioned before, leave all the pursuit to him. I'm just saying it's okay to bait him a bit by revealing a little interest.
3. Evangelistic dating is of the devil! What does that even MEAN?? Well, if he isn't a believer (and I'll even take it a step farther that if he isn't of the same spiritual belief system such as...you're Pentecostal, he's Presbyterian) don't go out with him! Period! The latter only leaves room for difficulty and confusion and, even though we're talking about being friends and getting to know one another, you have to be balanced and responsible. You want a mate, whenever that time comes, who believes like you believe. If you believe in Divine healing then you will want a mate that will stand with you and pray with you (or for you) and believe God with you! Why look at it any differently in the area of dating? So it goes without saying, then, that you, being a believer should NOT date an unbeliever. Paul even addressed this issue himself in the Word of God. Yes, God can use you to reach out to Hotty McHotterton but He will NOT use you to reach him by dating him! Maybe you're unaware of this but...boys be crazy! Unsaved fellas aren't into you because of how beautiful you are inside or because of how anointed you are or because of your heart for God...they're into you because you smell good, you look good and you'd make a nice, shiny new toy! Yeah...that's tough but MAN is it EVER the truth! I'm being real here, don't shout me down cuz I'm preaching good.
4. Don't over-think it and don't under-think it, either. I've addressed under-thinking it in the first 3 points but over-thinking it, I'll touch on here. Let's just be more real, okay? If you find a guy attractive, he's a man of God or you know he has a heart for God...why pray about getting to know him? Getting to know someone doesn't mean that you guys will end up in a relationship. How do you even KNOW you want to be in a relationship until you get to know them anyway??? Every matter isn't a spiritual matter, I'm sorry if that shatters your world. Dating, however, seems to be equal parts of both and yet we (fellow ministers) have neglected to focus on the natural aspect of it all to great disaster, I believe. We've told people for years, "No need to date, God will bring that person into your life! Stay inside and pray 8 hours a day! If God wants you to have a mate, you'll find them sitting on your doorstep!" And, dear friends, that just. isn't. true. If he makes you laugh...if he makes you feel good about yourself and respects and honors you and if he loves him some Jesus...why not go do something with him? Will it HURT you to have more fun and laugh more and receive more compliments and (likely) get something free out of it (such as coffee, food, flowers)??? No, I think not!
Guys! Buddies! Pals! Bro...sephs...ok. Yeah. You dudes. I'm talking to you now, ladies, your turn to pay attention for some learning. I want to say this first. Be. A. Man. Don't be a man by the worlds standards either. Get your nose in the Word of God, keep your mind renewed, fall in love with God and submit yourself fresh and anew to Him and then maybe, just MAYBE you'll be ready to hang out with a woman of God. It's all about priorities, fellas, and let's face it...we usually have a hard time prioritizing anything that doesn't directly benefit us immediately. Lucky for you guys that everything I've covered so far does just that though! You need to be aware of some things too, however...
1. You are to be the pursuer of the woman. And you are to be the pursuer with honor and class! I'm not saying you have to be smooth...I'm anything BUT smooth and, in fact, find myself being a little awkward in my pursuit of a woman. I'm saying that you need to HONOR her as your sister in Christ as you pursue her though! Don't just be like, "Hey, you're hot! Praise God for hot chicks! When you were worshiping God, I just couldn't help but notice the glimmer of those gorgeous lips under the ambiance of the church lighting!" Yeah...that's neither giving honor to her as a sister and woman of God and it's not very classy either! Don't get me wrong, there's a time for saying that stuff...but not at this stage! Slow your roll, jack!
2. Why do you want to go out with her? What's your reasoning behind it? Are you TRULY interested in GETTING TO KNOW HER or are you more interested in being in a relationship with her? If being in a relationship with her is your MAIN interest and priority, you're still a boy and need to wait for manhood before you attempt dating again. I'm not beating on you, guys, I just say it this way because I've been the guy I told the ladies to watch out for. Women want to be secure and if you REALLY want to make her happy, make her your FRIEND first so that you guys can learn each other and come to trust each other! Security is only found in trust and trust can ONLY be founded on friendship and friendship should be something that is earned, not granted freely. Now, if she opens the door to just letting you be her friend...take it and consider yourself blessed to be in that position. It's your job, at that point, to prove to her that she didn't make a mistake. Also...women aren't objects. I don't care HOW gorgeous she is, she is NOT a trophy. Guys, we ALL want to end up with a woman that we'd be proud to walk arm in arm with from the physical standpoint...but you just better have more extensive criteria than just physical qualities. As for me...I'm looking for the total package. Someone that makes me say "WOW!" Physically, spiritually, intellectually, personality-ly (?), and even emotionally. And, if she makes me say wow on those levels, she'll be making me say "WOW!" literally and VERY audibly as well! Ok...enough "ly's".
3. Evangelistic dating is of the devil for you TOO! I don't care WHAT kinda man of God you are! Don't. be. foolish! Men...we are visually stimulated. You REALLY think hanging out with Hoochie McMamaton is gonna result in anything positive, spiritually speaking? Gimme a break! Yes, God could use you to reach her...but God is NOT going to put you in a place that will allow for you to flesh out and do something that you regret, either physically or in your heart. Period.
4. You're a man...set a standard! I think it's OKAY to let a woman know what's up! I think it's not only safe and smart but also...IDEAL. No, I've not always done it and YES, I have paid the price for not doing so. Setting standards keeps both of your hearts in check. If she's really into you, even if you DO set a standard of "let's just be friends and see where things go naturally without trying to make them happen" and you aren't feeling the same way at all...be a man and GENTLY let her know what's up. Become a communicator NOW! We're gonna have to do it A LOT once we get married anyway! Anyway, don't pretend that you can't get heartbroken. It can and does happen, even in THESE situations! And I firmly believe that it's because no one set up some standards. I've been totally open and honest before...I've told a girl straight-up "yep, i'm interested in you and I kinda like you...but I REALLY wanna focus on getting to KNOW you more than anything else." I believe that makes things easier for both people and kinda let's HER off the hook should she decide that she isn't really feeling anymore than friendship with ya. And I really think that if you become friends first and foremost, you're not gonna be all heartbroken and stuff over that because you will be satisfied with that stage of a relationship.
I'm certainly no professional on the matter, nor have I done any extensive or conclusive research on the matter. In fact, I didn't even draw scripture and verse from the Bible...I just wrote this out to you from my heart. Once you're content with God as your Source of EVERYTHING (even the relationship stuff) you can effectively establish boundaries for getting to know people of like, precious faith! Being single is a gift from God and it's supposed to be a FUN time in your life, not a burden! For some of us, it's only a season too (praise God!) But who says we can't enjoy this season AND prepare ourselves for that time in life where we will get to have a relationship? I'll even go this far...if we will become so wrapped up in God that nothing else really matters, we won't have to go around dating various people. We may come to find that person, a dear friend, perhaps, already a part of our lives. We may discover, quite unexpectedly, that the one person we WANT to invest all of our time into...we've already began doing so with. Let us not forget, however, that the Great Author of Romance Himself doesn't cease to be just that whenever we do find another person. God is the only Source of satisfaction and being in love with Him is the only way to first love your sweetheart. His love is perfect and was strong enough, marvelous enough and so determined that it was the VERY thing that raised Christ from the dead. For if Christ had only died for our sins, that may have been enough...but God wanted His children to have FULLNESS in this life...so that deep-rooted love reached into the earth and raised to us a victorious Savior and Ever-lasting Lover!
Amen.
Monday, August 24, 2009
Content
Let me first define this word "content": adj.- in a state of peaceful happiness. verb- to satisfy; accept as adequate despite wanting more or better. noun- a state of satisfaction.
I don't know that I've EVER lacked transparency in regards to my hopes and dreams; my aspirations and desires. I've mentioned before that I developed a desire for a wife and family at a VERY early age. I used to draw pictures of myself at that age with my wife and kids. At the age of 3...yes, new readers, 3 years old, I began to look forward to and desire a family. I know. That's kinda weird and almost not even believable due to the age BUT my mom can vouch for me here. The point is...I've been looking for that "other person" pretty much my entire life in some form or fashion. That's really kinda scary, ya know. But the scariest part about it is that I NEVER even realized the error and imbalance in this until just last week!
I began reading a book one day that I REALLLLLLY didn't wanna read but had been feeling in my heart for the last 4 months that I really should. Like...REALLY should. Anyway, I kept ignoring it and kept on reading all my other books that I'm reading until one day I just decided to surrender to that little unction to read. See, I realize something now about being led by the Spirit of God that I was never really sensitive to before. Often times when the Holy Spirit is leading you, He kinda just keeps "bringing it up" inside you, so to speak, like a constant urge or unction to do something, repeating over and over and over again like a broken record. Now, He also leads by peace and not by pressure, so it'll never be an instance where He is PUSHING you to come to a conclusion, make a decision or act...there'll just be a sort of "peaceful urgency", if that even makes any sense to you. So anyway...I was led to buy this book in the first place. I had picked it up and put it down many, many times before and FINALLY just decided "What the heck? Maybe I should read this so that I can more effectively minister to other single peeps." And once I got home and realized that I'm NOT gonna be getting to minister to singles as I thought I would, I just kinda pushed it aside and continued trying to ignore that leading. Until last week.
I read this book in one sitting. I don't blow through books in a hurry, mind you. I prefer to study books as I read them, underlining, highlighting, circling, re-reading certain portions...I really prefer to process books rather than just read them. I couldn't put this book down, to be honest with you. You know why? Because it seemed that the book was written JUST FOR ME!
*I'm not really here to push a book to you but if you ARE interested in it, it's called "Single and Loving It!" by Kate McVeigh and if you wanted to find it, you could probably find it on Amazon or something. I actually bought it at Rhema's bookstore before coming home.*
During my reading of this book I both laughed (cuz she is one funny lady, I tell you) and cried. I wasn't crying because I was sad or because I had something in my eye or even because I was thinking about that ending to "Old Yeller". No, I was crying because my heart had become broken over the one relationship I had taken my main focus off of. I had placed my heart's desire on a pedestal just above my Father. I had, without even REALIZING it, placed MORE importance on whoever He had for me rather than enjoying what I already had with Him. See, He had romanced me better than any one ever has or could or will. At one point in my life, I realized that and spent hours a day with Him. As time went on and as life happened, as relationships came and heartbreak happened, I neglected the ONE relationship that promises to NEVER end and never cause a negative sense of heartbreak. He SO LOVED me that He gave everything, JUST to capture my attention. No romantic comedy, no graphic love story and no individual relationship can even COMPARE to that! Period.
So I began to weep, openly...I cried like I've not cried in years. You know that cry. The one where your back heaves and ho's and your cries are more closely related to that of a newborn baby rather than a grown man (or woman). I cried and I repented because I had ceased to be content in every tense of the word with my relationship with my Heavenly Father; my Precious Jesus. Sure, it's an emotional song...but romance, whether Divine or earthly is an emotional thing...but I can hear, even now, the worship song "Arms of Love" in my head and it just makes me tear up as I type this blog.
Big deal. I'm a single guy in ministry. Doesn't mean I'm not WHOLE! Big deal. I'm not at the place in life that I always thought I would be by this age. You know what though? I'm so happy! I've not taken such delight in JUST seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and taken such joy in my relationship with an Eternal Romancer in years! It feels so good to be back on track, you know. I'm TOTALLY happy being a single guy right now. Do I STILL want a wife and family? You bet I do! But, my goodness, what is that in comparison to the most important relationship anyone can have anyway? The promise of God's Word is so very simple and SO very true: HE WILL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART! Psalm 37:4 But the first part of that verse is the key..."delight yourself in the Lord".
Kate McVeigh says this in the book, "The bigger your dream is, the greater the foundation that has to be laid." It's not such an issue of time, really though. It's an issue of just making the most out of this season in life! Preparation time is NEVER EVER EVER wasted time! And if you're single, this is the BEST time of your life! Why can't we adopt the mindset that we are going to take advantage of this season by preparing ourselves for our future and our mate? This isn't a dull, boring, sad time! This is a time of opportunity and promise!
So how do we prepare? GET BUSY! Get busy becoming who you want to be in life. Get busy becoming the quality of person you hope to end up with in ever capacity: physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, etc. Get busy focusing on other people instead of just yourself! "What you make happen for others, God can make happen for you." Look at Ruth for an example of that! And finally..."Seek first the kingdom of GOd and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." Matthew 6:33 The great part about that verse is all the stuff Jesus covers at the beginning of that chapter and how He deals with worry.
When we focus on our relationship with our Creator first, we become satisfied in the revelation that we already have everything we could possibly need in Him. Don't give me that line that you need a wife. You DESIRE a wife. You DESIRE a husband...but you do NOT need her/him! You've already GOT all you need in Him! And He is oh so aware of your wants for physical contact with another person. Just look at Adam. He was a busy joker tending to the garden and walking with God in the cool of the day. He had a relationship with God that only Jesus can parallel. And yet as Adam was faithful tending to all those things and finding himself content in all that he had and, no doubt, realizing just how complete he was with his Creator, God took notice and said, "You know...it's not good for man to be alone." So He caused Adam to rest it up a bit and then created for him his lady.
Don't tell me that God is unaware of that desire! He just desires and DESERVES to be the FIRST relationship that we long for! Period! And when we focus on that, we realize that we don't HAVE to be desperate about finding someone else. Is God not capable of bringing people into our lives? He doesn't need our help. Dating sites serve a purpose...but likely not a Godly one! Sweatin' every chick you see for her number or for a date might seem alright at first...till you realize that you just overlooked that woman as a sister in Christ and neglected to FIRST nourish and cherish a friendship with her. No, I'm not saying you shouldn't date. In fact, that's something fun that I think singles SHOULD do because you can AT LEAST develop a really fun friendship with someone, even if the romance never develops. Hey ladies...Ruth didn't find Boaz....Boaz found Ruth! I'll end with this quote from the book. "God knows where you are, and He can cause your path to cross with the one He's chosen for you. The best place for you to be is serving God faithfully in your local church, being about your Father's business."
I get it now. And I'm so stinkin' happy with my Father and His business! That other stuff will be great too...but it will never fulfill me like what He's called me to do will...and a woman will NEVER satisfy me like He does. "Keep your focus on Him and everything else will fall into line. You don't have to go looking."
I love you guys and trust that this ministers to you just as much as it did to me.
I don't know that I've EVER lacked transparency in regards to my hopes and dreams; my aspirations and desires. I've mentioned before that I developed a desire for a wife and family at a VERY early age. I used to draw pictures of myself at that age with my wife and kids. At the age of 3...yes, new readers, 3 years old, I began to look forward to and desire a family. I know. That's kinda weird and almost not even believable due to the age BUT my mom can vouch for me here. The point is...I've been looking for that "other person" pretty much my entire life in some form or fashion. That's really kinda scary, ya know. But the scariest part about it is that I NEVER even realized the error and imbalance in this until just last week!
I began reading a book one day that I REALLLLLLY didn't wanna read but had been feeling in my heart for the last 4 months that I really should. Like...REALLY should. Anyway, I kept ignoring it and kept on reading all my other books that I'm reading until one day I just decided to surrender to that little unction to read. See, I realize something now about being led by the Spirit of God that I was never really sensitive to before. Often times when the Holy Spirit is leading you, He kinda just keeps "bringing it up" inside you, so to speak, like a constant urge or unction to do something, repeating over and over and over again like a broken record. Now, He also leads by peace and not by pressure, so it'll never be an instance where He is PUSHING you to come to a conclusion, make a decision or act...there'll just be a sort of "peaceful urgency", if that even makes any sense to you. So anyway...I was led to buy this book in the first place. I had picked it up and put it down many, many times before and FINALLY just decided "What the heck? Maybe I should read this so that I can more effectively minister to other single peeps." And once I got home and realized that I'm NOT gonna be getting to minister to singles as I thought I would, I just kinda pushed it aside and continued trying to ignore that leading. Until last week.
I read this book in one sitting. I don't blow through books in a hurry, mind you. I prefer to study books as I read them, underlining, highlighting, circling, re-reading certain portions...I really prefer to process books rather than just read them. I couldn't put this book down, to be honest with you. You know why? Because it seemed that the book was written JUST FOR ME!
*I'm not really here to push a book to you but if you ARE interested in it, it's called "Single and Loving It!" by Kate McVeigh and if you wanted to find it, you could probably find it on Amazon or something. I actually bought it at Rhema's bookstore before coming home.*
During my reading of this book I both laughed (cuz she is one funny lady, I tell you) and cried. I wasn't crying because I was sad or because I had something in my eye or even because I was thinking about that ending to "Old Yeller". No, I was crying because my heart had become broken over the one relationship I had taken my main focus off of. I had placed my heart's desire on a pedestal just above my Father. I had, without even REALIZING it, placed MORE importance on whoever He had for me rather than enjoying what I already had with Him. See, He had romanced me better than any one ever has or could or will. At one point in my life, I realized that and spent hours a day with Him. As time went on and as life happened, as relationships came and heartbreak happened, I neglected the ONE relationship that promises to NEVER end and never cause a negative sense of heartbreak. He SO LOVED me that He gave everything, JUST to capture my attention. No romantic comedy, no graphic love story and no individual relationship can even COMPARE to that! Period.
So I began to weep, openly...I cried like I've not cried in years. You know that cry. The one where your back heaves and ho's and your cries are more closely related to that of a newborn baby rather than a grown man (or woman). I cried and I repented because I had ceased to be content in every tense of the word with my relationship with my Heavenly Father; my Precious Jesus. Sure, it's an emotional song...but romance, whether Divine or earthly is an emotional thing...but I can hear, even now, the worship song "Arms of Love" in my head and it just makes me tear up as I type this blog.
Big deal. I'm a single guy in ministry. Doesn't mean I'm not WHOLE! Big deal. I'm not at the place in life that I always thought I would be by this age. You know what though? I'm so happy! I've not taken such delight in JUST seeking first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and taken such joy in my relationship with an Eternal Romancer in years! It feels so good to be back on track, you know. I'm TOTALLY happy being a single guy right now. Do I STILL want a wife and family? You bet I do! But, my goodness, what is that in comparison to the most important relationship anyone can have anyway? The promise of God's Word is so very simple and SO very true: HE WILL GIVE YOU THE DESIRES OF YOUR HEART! Psalm 37:4 But the first part of that verse is the key..."delight yourself in the Lord".
Kate McVeigh says this in the book, "The bigger your dream is, the greater the foundation that has to be laid." It's not such an issue of time, really though. It's an issue of just making the most out of this season in life! Preparation time is NEVER EVER EVER wasted time! And if you're single, this is the BEST time of your life! Why can't we adopt the mindset that we are going to take advantage of this season by preparing ourselves for our future and our mate? This isn't a dull, boring, sad time! This is a time of opportunity and promise!
So how do we prepare? GET BUSY! Get busy becoming who you want to be in life. Get busy becoming the quality of person you hope to end up with in ever capacity: physically, mentally, spiritually, financially, etc. Get busy focusing on other people instead of just yourself! "What you make happen for others, God can make happen for you." Look at Ruth for an example of that! And finally..."Seek first the kingdom of GOd and His righteousness and all these things will be added unto you." Matthew 6:33 The great part about that verse is all the stuff Jesus covers at the beginning of that chapter and how He deals with worry.
When we focus on our relationship with our Creator first, we become satisfied in the revelation that we already have everything we could possibly need in Him. Don't give me that line that you need a wife. You DESIRE a wife. You DESIRE a husband...but you do NOT need her/him! You've already GOT all you need in Him! And He is oh so aware of your wants for physical contact with another person. Just look at Adam. He was a busy joker tending to the garden and walking with God in the cool of the day. He had a relationship with God that only Jesus can parallel. And yet as Adam was faithful tending to all those things and finding himself content in all that he had and, no doubt, realizing just how complete he was with his Creator, God took notice and said, "You know...it's not good for man to be alone." So He caused Adam to rest it up a bit and then created for him his lady.
Don't tell me that God is unaware of that desire! He just desires and DESERVES to be the FIRST relationship that we long for! Period! And when we focus on that, we realize that we don't HAVE to be desperate about finding someone else. Is God not capable of bringing people into our lives? He doesn't need our help. Dating sites serve a purpose...but likely not a Godly one! Sweatin' every chick you see for her number or for a date might seem alright at first...till you realize that you just overlooked that woman as a sister in Christ and neglected to FIRST nourish and cherish a friendship with her. No, I'm not saying you shouldn't date. In fact, that's something fun that I think singles SHOULD do because you can AT LEAST develop a really fun friendship with someone, even if the romance never develops. Hey ladies...Ruth didn't find Boaz....Boaz found Ruth! I'll end with this quote from the book. "God knows where you are, and He can cause your path to cross with the one He's chosen for you. The best place for you to be is serving God faithfully in your local church, being about your Father's business."
I get it now. And I'm so stinkin' happy with my Father and His business! That other stuff will be great too...but it will never fulfill me like what He's called me to do will...and a woman will NEVER satisfy me like He does. "Keep your focus on Him and everything else will fall into line. You don't have to go looking."
I love you guys and trust that this ministers to you just as much as it did to me.
Wednesday, July 22, 2009
Belonging
It never fails! Any time you find yourself in the midst of the plan of God for your life, you will greet discouragement at some point like an old, long-lost friend! It's so simplistic that we can do what God has called us to do yet be led with tunnel-vision rather than noticing everything else at work around you. When we do this, we are not ONLY being led just by the things that we see but we are missing the actual unfolding of God's plan all around us and through us! I've always promised to be transparent with people. Whether it be one on one or through a blog, I've made it a point most of my life to just be genuine, transparent and, at times, raw. So here goes nothin'!
Lately I HAVE been a bit discouraged. Anyone that has read previous blogs or has spent any time with me in person at all could likely pick up on that. Despite ALLLLL the encouragement I received the last 2 years in Bible school and ALLLLL the great services and ALLLL the encouraging facebook status updates of favorite Rhema instructors such as Doug Jones and Karen Jensen, I've found myself discouraged. What sliced me like a dull sickle, however, was one particular status update by one of my aforementioned instructors. Now, I doubt that Mrs. Jensen takes the time to read my blogs, but just in case she does...thank you, Mrs. Karen! You rock! This is what the update said: "You can tell how big a person is by what it takes to discourage him."
Yeah...that one kinda hurt. What I had failed to realize is that I was viewing everything from the wrong perspective. I was choosing to look at my situations through a telescope rather than natural means. Beyond that, I was walking mostly by sight and only slightly by faith. When you do those things, it's EASY to succumb to apathy, discouragement, resentment, rebellion...I mean it just begins a vicious little cycle of garbage! You see, the enemy wants us to live life that way. He wants us to view things through the narrow scope of life, allowing all that we see to be distorted and minimal. God's plan, however, is SO much bigger...SO much more grand...SO much more and farther beyond all that we can see and all that we can hope and all that we can even possibly imagine!
It was almost intoxicating to me to hear from my cousin that her and her family were moving churches. I had become so distorted in my vision that I found myself actually CONSIDERING doing the same thing! She had faithfully attended my pastors dad's church and served as a worship leader and children's worker...she and her husband and children had grown more in this church than I'd ever seen them grow. So to put it simply to you, I was shocked when she called me that Sunday afternoon telling me that they had just attended their final service at that church! Well...I was shocked at first, anyway. Then I began to almost salivate at all the opportunities that they had before them! They were going to a bigger church. A church that had ALL kinds of different ministries from which one could serve in! A church that is modern and relevant and...everything I was beginning to see, through my distorted scope, that my church was not. Their church has children's ministry...youth ministry...men's ministry...college/career...cafe...and their view on praise and worship at that church matches more of my OWN idea of what it should be in a church. I mean, I was almost only a phone call away from hooking up with THAT church!
It's crazy, really. Putting things in perspective like that, placing words to that perspective and then reading over it. Wow. Anyway...I knew better than to just up and go without God either releasing me to do so or speaking to my heart about it. My emotions were telling me to run but my heart told me to stay. I wanted to make the move but I just knew that if God called me to come back home and serve at my church like I KNOW that He did (see, I was planning to stay for a 3rd year at Bible school but God made it evident that I was NOT to do that) then there HAS to be a reason for Him to have done that! So I decided that I was just gonna grin and bear it, albeit miserably so. I found that I was trying to convince myself that I no longer belonged at this church.
"I'm not even the worship leader. Sure, I lead the songs...but I'm not the worship leader...so what does it even matter?" "I'm not even an associate pastor. Sure, I fulfill those duties...but that's not my title either. So who really cares??" "I can't even start a college/career ministry. I can't even start a MEN'S ministry. My hands are tied! I can't do ANYTHING at this stupid church!" Yeah...those were actually thoughts belonging to yours truly. I know what I'm called to do and because I couldn't see myself DOING the things I'm called to do, I decided that I MUST not actually be doing them. I then heard my pastor say one thing to our head usher today while we were having worship band practice before service. That one thing, was simply..."Noah didn't wait for it to rain before he started building the boat..." Yes, I'm aware that I heard that totally out of context but it was exactly what I needed to hear. That was just God preparing my heart for the message tonight in youth. I won't cover the details of the message simply b/c I only remember the key points that cut straight to my heart.
Simply, I AM where I belong. I don't belong elsewhere. I don't belong back at Rhema. I don't belong in another church or ministry. It's NOT time for me to just go out and start my own church, either! God has placed me right where I am. And God's plan for me is HERE. He didn't place me here out of desperation or in error. He didn't place me here out of sequence. He placed me here for THIS TIME and for THIS SEASON and b/c of that truth then there IS a reason for it! This place has SOMETHING to do with God's plan in my life. And if I'm NOT in this God-place, then I will MISS what God is trying to do in me and through me.
Maybe you can relate. Maybe you can't relate. I had to type out this blog, however. Hopefully it will encourage any of you that find yourselves in a state of discouragement right now. I'm confident of one thing...God has a plan for you! And that plan is a GOOD plan and it is a PERFECT plan and ALL you have to do is follow Him and you will LIVE IN that plan! Some of you are in a place where you don't see yourselves accomplishing the same things that you felt God speak into your heart years ago. I encourage you to stop "looking" and just believe! Walk by faith in what God spoke to you and not by your own reasoning or understanding of the situation. If God spoke it, He didn't lie about it! I DON'T CARE where you find yourself right now! God has a plan for you and that plan will be accomplished! It doesn't matter what you see. If Noah had gone by all that he'd seen...if he had been discouraged by all that he heard, all creation would have been wiped from this earth! Listen to what God says! Listen to what His Word says! Forsake EVERYTHING else! Have faith in God!
Amen.
Monday, July 13, 2009
Love and Dating and Their Musing Power (And Ability to Make Me Ramble)
So I'm aware that "musing" likely isn't a officially recognized word or terminology but I had to word it some how. We see it's influence in television, films, music...practically everywhere. There's just something wonderful yet terrifying yet all-encompassing yet mysterious yet magical about love.
No, this won't be my typical blog. This blog has very little to do with religion or with theology or with relationship and fellowship with my Savior. This blog is all about romantic, powerful love and my quest to let it find me. Yes, you read it right...I want love to find me. I've searched high and low; taken many journeys in life in an attempt to discover this ever-elusive...thing. Yes, I've loved, I've lost, I've done it all. Yes, I DO believe in love. And, no, I have not given up on love either.
The last year has been a wonderful journey for me in which I have really come to know myself. It's an amazing thing to take a step back and look at yourself only to realize that you have NEVER really known yourself. It's also not at easy fact to accept considering I've always prided myself on being the most real, genuine, honest and down to earth person anyone would ever meet. Perhaps I was being all of those things to everyone else...except for myself.
I fell in love REALLY hard one time back when I was in college. We started as friends and just fell really hard for each other, or at least I fell really hard for her. I spent a week with her and her family that summer...her dad even gave me "the talk" one day whilst riding around town. We made plans for our future and we just couldn't WAIT to start living out the plan of God together forever! A few weeks after I left her home that summer, she met another boy..kissed him...and a couple years later married him.
So much for that, huh? Where did that leave me? In a broken heap. I turned inward..and stayed that way for many, many years following. In fact, that's been about 7 years ago now...and I've only recently come out of that hole that I buried myself in. So now, like a phoenix, I've risen from the earth ready to burn bright alongside my mate. The problem is, however, that I've forgotten how to make those pure connections with people due to my many years of selfish dating endeavors and playing the field and basically just using people.
Now let's not get it twisted...this is NOT a blog reflecting on my past nor is it a blog seeking the pity of others...I simply wanted to lay just a bit of back story here. Though the things in my more recent past are kinda negative, I've been restored, my broken heart has FINALLY healed (simply b/c I gave that issue to God and let Him heal me) and I've given up my pursuit of immorality to cure all my hurt.
I've watched most of my closest friends get married. In fact, I was in 2 weddings this summer back to back. In recent years I've witnessed nearly all of my single friends meet, court and marry their loves. I don't know if it's the fact that nearly all of these friends have been younger than me that has jarred me or if it's simply the realization that I've placed myself in this position over the years that's caused me to miss out...but either way I'm ready for my time.
The biggest issue that I've discovered is that I have almost always settled. I've been lonely and just so desperate to have that relationship with someone (neither of these are good reasons to date someone, by the way!) that I've, in times past, settled for the first cute girl to come along and show some interest. Then, once in that relationship, I've found myself unsatisfied due to personality clashes, emotional instabilities, intellect barriers and *gasp* even attraction issues. I know, I've likely just been written off as a shallow guy because of that list...but hear me out.
Where do we get the idea that it's OK to settle for something less than what we REALLY want? Is it NOT OK to have standards or something? I mean, seriously, I've dated some really pretty girls...but I've realized that these same girls aren't the best that I could do either. And I just don't see what's wrong with that realization. I DO believe that there is SOME woman of God out there that embodies everything I want in a woman...a great personality, reasonable emotional stability, intelligent (both naturally and spiritually) and out of my league gorgeous. I've never really pursued any woman like that before. Sure, I've known many women that would fit all of those things and then some...but I never even TRIED with them (other than the chick from college). So I've adopted a new philosophy on dating..and it's the same philosophy I have when it comes to everything else, really. I'm looking at over-all quality. When I purchase something, I don't buy the cheapest thing...I buy what will give me the most long-term return for the highest quality. Why shouldn't I seek a relationship in the same fashion?
I know that some in the Christian circle will view this blog and preach at me that I should "just wait on the Lord and He will provide and bring her unto you" and all that stuff. I don't disagree with that totally, however, I live in a natural world where not EVERYTHING is spiritual. Beyond that, is it NOT my job as a man to be the pursuer of a woman?? I'm aware that I'll likely get rejected many times over...I've always pursued the ones that I KNEW I'd have a shot at. But I'm ready to be brave now and actually go for what I desire rather than what could just be served to me on a silver platter.
So women of God of the world...this is your served notice. If you match any of the above listed criteria and you are NOT afraid of being a pastors wife or if you believe that you are called to be a pastors wife, I'm coming for you! No, I'm not looking to play the field...I'm not looking to date as many women as is possible in search for "the one". I'm not even looking to get married. What I REALLY want to find is that friend...that mate...and I want to woo her and court her and show her that Hollywood doesn't have the corner market on romance. I learned romance from my Father in Heaven...the Greatest Romantic one could ever know.
The end...for now.
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Sunday, July 5, 2009
There's A Stirring...
As of this month, I've been home from bible school for 2 months. During that 2 years of training, I received more in-depth bible teaching, knowledge and application than I ever have before...and that's saying A LOT! I received something else during that time as well though...vision. I had it all planned out in my head of what my return home would be like. I realized, of course, that things have a way of turning out SO much differently than what you envision in your head or even in your heart most of the time...so when I got home to discover that I'd basically be sitting on my hands most of the time, I wasn't COMPLETELY shocked.
How many of you know what it's like to KNOW that you are called to do something or you KNOW that you have a certain purpose in your life and yet you find yourself in a place that neither supports that plan nor gives you an avenue to live it out? Anybody feel me there? Now for those of you that are just going to label me as "negative" here, I encourage you to just GET REAL with yourselves and realize that I'm simply stating things the way that they are. If you can't relate to this then perhaps you should just stop reading. Love ya! Anyway...coming home, I found myself in that very place mentioned above. I know what I'm called to do. I've known it in my heart since I was a child, had it confirmed to me over and over and over again and...besides all that, I've had that drive in me my whole life.
Some might say that I'm just too impatient or unwilling to submit (which is TOTALLY untrue!) to authority but I decree something else entirely. I'm just a driven and passionate individual that likes to get things done...and I've grown very tired of waiting. So here's what I'm going to do...I'm going to begin video-blogging. What am I gonna Vlog about? I'm not entirely sure. I know that I'll be giving you things from the Word of God that you'll not only find relevant and simple but also true and applicable to your every day life. I'm tired of church as usual. I'm tired of being a butt in the seat. Most of all, I'm tired of having to hold in everything I have stirring inside of me. If there isn't an avenue for me to pour out in the local church, if there isn't a platform from which I can stand and proclaim the truth, if there isn't a body of believers that I can stand before and minister to...then my life is as nothing.
It's time for me to take matters into my own hands, in a way. I NEED to pour out...I don't want to. When things are bursting inside of you, you have to just let them out. What better place for that...what better avenue than the internet? By making every where that I go my pulpit, whether naturally or digitally, I can and will fulfill the plan of God for my life. No need to be micro-managed by others here...as a minister, I answer first of all to my Father in Heaven. Yes, I'll still be accountable to others. Namely, my pastor and my church....but my Vloggings will not be affiliated with them in any way other than in natural association.
So you want a relevant word for your life? Tune in for my video blogs, coming to a server near you very soon!
Be blessed and I love ya!
Monday, February 9, 2009
Home
I so well remember the day that I moved out to Broken Arrow, OK to attend Rhema Bible Training Center. Not much more than a year before this time, I had rededicated my life to God after having gotten hurt and offended in ministry and subsequently, turning my back to everything. I was planning to attend community college to catch up on all the boring courses that I'd have to take when I went back to Lee before completing my major courses. I thought this would be a great plan and thought that following in the footsteps of one my mentors, Dr. David Horton (not the Rhema one, by the way), was the way to go. Sitting in class one day, I just felt that there had to be MORE. Something MORE out there for me...cuz what I was doing just wasn't cutting it. Long story shorter, the Spirit of God led me to attend Rhema. And I knew about attending a year ahead of time...but in THAT time, I became the youth and music pastor at my church. Stepping down to attend Rhema was hard yet also very exciting because I knew I was following God. I told the people at my farewell party, "Be back in 18 short months!"
Here it is, February...I graduate in May. May 15th will mark that 18 short month time-span. So what am I gonna do? Well I had actually decided to attend a 3rd year. I wanted to do 3rd year Pastors...which is really just a more intense, involved study of the pastoral ministry. See, I got out to Rhema and realized that EVERYTHING I ever learned in ministry and at Lee up to that point was all...not wrong...but...just...lacking. See, I thought I knew it all. Then I got to Rhema and learned that A LOT of what I had learned was MAN'S way of ministry rather than what the Bible says. I had learned to be self and man led more than I had learned to be Spirit-led. So, naturally, going a 3rd year was the perfect plan for this guy!
I decided I was going last summer...I came to school this year knowing that next year, I'm gonna be a 3rd year pastor! Then, suddenly, (you have to watch out for those suddenlys whenever the Holy Spirit is involved, by the way...check out the entire book of Acts to see what I mean) the Holy Spirit checked me about my decision. Just a feeling in my gut that I needed to do the right thing and talk to my pastor about my intentions. I talked to him...was in agreement with me if I chose to go a 3rd year. Ok, awesome...now I'm gonna wait to hear from God for sure about what to do...cuz NOW I wanna both go home and get back to the plow AND attend a 3rd year (which is impossible).
Sitting class on Friday, February 6, in How To of Missions with Rev. Jim Andrews, what the Holy Spirit was speaking to me all this time finally registered. See, here's what's so special about Rhema...the spoon-feed you the Word of God but they also teach you letter by letter of how to be led by the Spirit of God. Brother Andrews was talking about, seemingly randomly by the way, being led by the Spirit. He stated that you know it's the Holy Spirit when you're feeling something or hearing something inside (in your spirit) and it just won't go away. Like a broken record, it just stays with you and repeats until either you yield to it or totally ignore it and do the opposite of it.
That's what I needed to hear...because ever since I talked to my pastor, all I could think was, "Go home." "Go home." "Go home." "Go home." So, family, guess what?
I'M COMIN' HOME! And when I make such statements, I just get some kinda bubbling feeling in my tummy...almost like a laugh but not quite a laugh. And I'm pretty sure...that's a GOOD thing.
Love you all!
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